Helen May- Online Therapy

I offer a warm, compassionate, and friendly space, centering your individual experience above labels or pathology. As such, I will draw on my integrative training and feedback from you, in order to tailor your therapy to fit your unique needs.

A lot of the 'work' of therapy is the relationship that we (counsellor and client) build together- studies have shown this is the biggest predictor of a positive outcome. I hope to offer you a relationship that is collaborative, full of trust, empathy, and humour, where you can feel heard, seen, and understood.

From a young age, we are often taught that we are only acceptable if we behave in certain ways. We learn to censor ourselves in order to receive love: first from parents, then peers, friends, partners, and society as a whole. This can mean keeping aspects of ourselves hidden, leading to secrecy, shame and low self-worth.

Over time, we learn different ‘roles’ and ways of being that we inhabit, depending on who we are around. These serve a purpose, but it can make it hard to know who we truly are.

One of the principal theories of humanistic counselling is that if you can show these parts to someone who will accept and respect you, you will in turn learn to accept and respect yourself. This doesn’t mean I will never challenge you, or experiment with looking at a situation in a different way; but it does mean that I endeavour not to shame you for the choices you have made, but rather respect your agency to make them.

Something that is hugely integral to the way I work is a stance of non-judgemental, open curiosity. I want to learn about how you see the world, and what it is like for you to inhabit; I am not here to 'fix' you (for a start, you are not broken!), pathologize you, or reduce you to a label or a set of symptoms. We are all unique individuals, who have developed 'creative adjustments'; survival strategies for navigating our environment. Sometimes, it is useful for us to examine these stategies to see if they are still serving us.

If you are having difficult emotions, are struggling with a decision, or have experienced an event that is causing you distress or confusion, having someone to talk to who is external to the situation can be invaluable. Because I don't have a pre-existing relationship with you, such as a friend or family member might have, I can listen to you without having my own prior opinions on you or your situation.