Ben Milner - Hastings
About the Therapist
Thank you for checking out my page. Thinking about starting therapy can be daunting, so hopefully we can make this first step less mysterious or confusing and enable you to decide if choosing me as your therapist is the right option.
My clients come to me for all kinds of reasons, but I have particular experience with anxiety and midlife stresses, sexuality and identity, including all variations of the LGBTQI+ family. Some of my clients open up about addiction, trauma and abuse. I can also offer guidance and coaching to parents of troubled and distressed adolescents.Whatever your reason for seeking therapy, my biggest role is to keep you safe and supported throughout.
As a cis gay man, I often feel that the most important aspect of growing comfortable in our queer skins is to recognise exactly who we are, not who we are expected to be. I believe that the LGBTQI+ family should never be constrained by other people’s expectations. I strongly feel that we are the very best experts in who we are, what we want and how to live genuinely. Unfortunately for many, we grew up and continue to live with far too many external judgments and influences. Sometimes, even from within the LGBTQI+ community. Together, I hope we can help you unpick who you truly and genuinely are.
I am fully sex positive and kink affirmative, including with poly and non-heteronormative relational dynamics. I am also unconditionally accepting of all a-sexual and Ace Spectrum identities. I strongly support the right of transgender, non-binary, gender diverse, and gender-questioning clients to self-identify.I currently have in-person availability in St Leonards-on-Sea and Online availability throughout the UK.
- Gay
- Kink - BDSM
- Queer
Diploma in Integrative Therapeutic Counselling (Citylit College, London)MBACP (00977555)https://www.bacp.co.uk/search/Register?q=00977555&UserLocation=50.8526592%2C0.5636096
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There are a variety of approaches to the way Counsellors work with their clients. I am an Integrative Counsellor and use the following therapeutic approaches: Psychodynamic and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) & The Person Centred Approach. You can find information on this here:
https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/types-of-therapy
However, more simply, I will be considering with you some of the following:
“What relief did you hope to get from your actions?”
“What hurt or pain is at the centre of your behaviours?”
“How does early development impact your life and relationships now?”
“What changes to behaviours and thoughts could help you?”
“Who are you? Truly you? When all the judgments and influences of the outside world are pushed to one side?”
Whilst I will be alongside you in this journey, you have complete freedom about what you share and we will work entirely at your own pace.
Chemsex
Chemsex usage within the LGBTQI+ community is incredibly diverse and complicated. Some may see Chems as a tool for sexual liberation, community and belonging, others may see this as a public health emergency and addiction nightmare. I believe that Chemsex is an incredibly complex and contradictory dynamic. I therefore offer an unconditionally non-judgemental stance on Chemsex. What does that mean? It hopefully means that you can trust me to listen carefully, without bias and not jump to conclusions. To provide a safe space for you to consider all possible options and to enable you to find the right pathway for you.
Addiction
I have experience Counselling within addiction settings, and offer a truly non-judgmental stance when considering your addictive behaviours. My approach is ‘trauma informed’ rather than seeing addiction as an illness. This means that I feel you have all of the power within yourself to heal from and live after addiction. I aim to work around the shame and stigma of addiction in order to enable you to live your life fully.
- Attachment theory (Psychodynamic)
- Behavioural therapy
- Brief dynamic
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
- Cognitive Therapy
- Humanistic
- Integrative
- Neurodivergent
- Person-Centred
- Psychodynamic
- Psychodynamic (Freudian)
- Psychodynamic (Kleinian)
- Walk and talk therapy
- Ace | Asexual
- BDSM | Kink
- Bi- | Pansexual
- Consensual non-monogamy
- Cross-dresser
- Gay
- Intersex
- Lesbian
- Neurodivergent
- Non-binary | Genderqueer
- Queer
- Questioning
- Survivors of attempted conversion therapy
- Trans
- One to one
- No adaptation
- Adults
- Seniors (60+)
- Young adults (16-24)
- Online
- In Person
My Standard fee is £60 per session.
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