Ruth Heneke Eliot
About the Therapist
Hello! I'm Ruth.
I'm a psychosexual & relationships therapist working with individuals & partners via my online, private practice.
I’ve been supporting people of all stripes to overcome their sexual & relationship difficulties for over 10 years as an facilitator, trainer, support worker and therapist. In that time I’ve learnt just how normal these difficulties are and yet, despite this, most of us feel deeply abnormal, embarrassed and ashamed about them, so much so that we avoid seeking support and remain stuck.
As a sex & relationships therapist, I honour the courage it takes to seek therapy and discuss such personal & sensitive themes with a stranger. I prioritise establishing a warm, friendly & open dynamic with my clients in which we work collaboratively to overcome what’s generating distress and cultivate new insight, skills and confidence to navigate sexual and relational intimacy.
In psychosexual therapy, commonly- presenting issues I work with include concerns relating to;
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arousal, orgasm, pleasure
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sexual identity, orientation, gender
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preferences, kinks, fantasies
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sexual shame, (performance) anxiety, fear, insecurity
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body image
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low desire, mismatched desire
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consent
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communication
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genital pain
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penetration
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unreliable erections
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ejaculation
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compulsive sexual behaviour ('addiction')
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sex-related ptsd
In relationships therapy, commonly- presenting issues I work with include concerns relating to;
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communication
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conflict
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sexual problems
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boundaries
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betrayal
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trust
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differences relating to culture, tradition, religion, values, lifestyle
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parenthood
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fertility
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relational expectations
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jealousy
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control
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navigating changes
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relationship structure
I'm proud of my record of working effectively with a wide range of clients- those with whom I share overt similarities and those with whom I have little obviously in common. The clients I've worked with in the UK & South Africa, aged 19-78 yrs, represent a huge diversity of identities, experiences, values & cultures. I work affirmatively and sensitively across differences, and understand presenting problems within a culturally-sensitive framework that engages with the relevant factors that exist outside anyone’s individual psychology. I deeply value & am committed to maintaining the diversity of clients in my clinical practice.
If you’re interested in exploring whether I’m the right therapist for you, I look forward to hearing from you. If this doesn’t feel like the right vibe for you, I wish you well on your search!
- Bi- | Pansexual
- Kink - BDSM
- Other
- Queer
Clinical practice site - https://www.rutheliot.com/therapy
COSRT Register- https://www.cosrt.org.uk/members-2/ruth-eliot/
Qualifications:
- Diploma (L7) in Psychosexual & Relationship Therapy, Contemporary Institute of Clinical Sexology, 2023- 2025
- L3 in Counselling Skills, Lewisham Counselling & Counsellor Training Centre, 2022-2023
| Award | Awarding body | Year of award |
|---|---|---|
My work involves;
- Establishing a trusting relationship in which clients feel free and safe to be authentically themselves. Through consistently demonstrating empathy, sensitivity & non-judgement, clients can engage honestly and openly about what's troubling them
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Exploring the clients' difficulty within the context of their physical, psychological & relational experiences
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Developing understanding of how a clients' values, identity, beliefs & cultural context affect their experience
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Equipping clients with concepts & frameworks to help develop new awareness & clearer insight into the nature of their problem: Why is it happening? What impact is it having? What beliefs, judgements and interpretations are being made about it? Why haven't previous attempts to overcome it worked?
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Introducing psycho/sexual/relational education, tools & practical exercises to support clients to overcome their difficulties
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Identifying the clients' preexisting resources & strengths that can support them to navigate the presenting issue
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Supporting clients to process traumatic experiences and manage their ongoing impact
I’m a sex and relationships psychotherapist trained in Pluralism, a type of therapy that prioritises the therapist adapting their approach to the specific needs of individual clients, on the premise that there's no one universally superior approach but instead what works best for one client won't be the same as what works best for another. This involves collaborating together over time to discover what works for YOU. We'll explore the role of core identity, experiences & beliefs in your distress alongside introducing practical, behavioural changes. How we do this depends on what's useful for you. More or less directive? Psycho-education? Mindfulness? Creativity? Narrative? Concepts? Trauma-processing? Culture? Skills-focused? TBC!
The therapy swimming pool: Down at the deep end lies our core identities, values, beliefs, memories, traumas, cultural norms & the legacies of our early experiences. At the shallow end lies our present-day circumstances- our lifestyle, (sexual) habits, communication patterns, relationship dynamics, resources, thought patterns etc.
I believe the most transformative therapy to involve moving between deep-dive psychological exploration and supporting practical changes in the present.
As part of my clinical training, I provided psychosexual & relationships therapy between 2024-2026 to support clients experiencing a wide range of sexual & relational issues at affordable UK-based clinical sexology service Sex Therapy Herts and Cape Town-based LGBTQ+ charity The Triangle Project. I continue to provide free, therapeutic support at The Triangle Project for clients who cannot access private healthcare.
- Art therapy
- Attachment theory (Psychodynamic)
- Couple therapy
- Family Therapy
- Feminist therapy
- Gestalt
- GSRD therapy
- Integrative
- Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS)
- Narrative therapy
- Neurodivergent
- Other
- Person-Centred
- Psychodynamic
- Relational
- Relationship therapy
- Somatic sexology
- Systemic
- Transactional Analysis
- Ace | Asexual
- BDSM | Kink
- Bi- | Pansexual
- Consensual non-monogamy
- Cross-dresser
- Gay
- Intersex
- Lesbian
- Neurodivergent
- Non-binary | Genderqueer
- Queer
- Questioning
- Survivors of attempted conversion therapy
- Trans
- One to one
- Two people
- No adaptation
- Adults
- Seniors (60+)
- Online
Individual therapy:​
- £50, £60 or £70 per 60 min session
- £70, £80 or £90 per 90 min session
Relationships therapy:
- £80, £90 or £100 per 60 min session
- £100, £110 or £120 per 90 min session
Sliding scale Guidelines:
Please choose a rate that’s genuinely reflective of your circumstances and most accurately aligns with your financial position. I understand individual circumstances are complex and you may not identify with every point- that’s OK!- please choose whichever feels the most relatable. Please trust you are warmly welcome into my practice at whichever rate you can afford- I currently do not limit the number of lower-rate places.
Higher rate suitable for those who;
- Have sufficient resources to comfortably cover rent/ necessities or
- Own property or
- Fully/partially live off unearned (gifted/ inherited) resources or
- Earn salary from a secure job to enjoy substantial disposable income
- Could afford to pay this rate on a weekly basis without consciously budgeting elsewhere
Mid rate suitable for those who;
- Have sufficient resources to comfortably cover rent/ necessities or
- Earn enough money to enjoy disposable income or
- Fully/partially live off unearned (gifted/ inherited) resources or
- Could afford to pay this rate on a weekly basis without consciously budgeting elsewhere
Lower rate suitable for those who;
- Must be mindful of spending in order to cover rent/necessities or
- Have never lived off unearned (gifted/inherited) resources or
- Have insecure income or
- Have multiple dependents or
- Are an unpaid carer or
- Have a gender identity/expression, ability, class or racialised identity that has significantly affected capacity to generate income
As someone who’s benefited from unearned resources myself, I am committed to making my work as accessible as possible. As such, alongside private practice, I work pro bono with The Triangle Project (a charity supporting the LGBTQ+ community in Cape Town, SA) providing psychotherapeutic support to clients unable to afford private healthcare.
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