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Ruth Clemence Heneke Eliot

Therapist Directory Listing Category: Sex- and sexuality-related practitioners
About the Therapist
About the therapist:

Hello! I'm Ruth Heneke Eliot. I’ve been supporting people of all stripes to overcome their sexual & relationship difficulties for over 10 years as an facilitator, trainer, support worker and therapist. In that time I’ve learnt just how normal these difficulties are and yet, despite this, most of us feel deeply abnormal, embarrassed and ashamed about them, so much so that we avoid seeking support and remain stuck. 

As a sex & relationships therapist, I honour the courage it takes to seek therapy and discuss such personal & sensitive themes with a stranger. I prioritise establishing a warm, friendly & open dynamic with my clients in which we work collaboratively to overcome what’s generating distress and cultivate new insight, skills and confidence to navigate sexual and relational intimacy.

I'm proud of my record of working effectively with a wide range of clients- those with whom I share overt similarities and those with whom I have little obviously in common. The clients I've worked with in the UK & South Africa, aged 19-78 yrs, represent a huge diversity of identities, experiences, values & cultures. I work affirmatively and sensitively across differences, and understand presenting problems within a culturally-sensitive framework that engages with the relevant factors that exist outside anyone’s individual psychology. I deeply value & am committed  to maintaining the diversity of clients in my clinical practice.

If you’re interested in exploring whether I’m the right therapist for you, I look forward to hearing from you. If this doesn’t feel like the right vibe for you, I wish you well on your search!

Sexual identity:
  • Bi- | Pansexual
  • Kink - BDSM
  • Queer
Gender identity: Female
Gender history: As assigned at birth
Non-monogamy: Yes
Intersex: No
Neurodivergent: Unsure
Personal pronouns: she/her
Qualifications - Links to websites: 
Clinical practice site - https://www.rutheliot.com/therapy 
COSRT Register- https://www.cosrt.org.uk/members-2/ruth-eliot/

Qualifications: 
- Diploma (L7) in Psychosexual & Relationship Therapy, Contemporary Institute of Clinical Sexology, 2023- 2025
- L3 in Counselling Skills, Lewisham Counselling & Counsellor Training Centre, 2022-2023
Qualifications - Additional:
Award Awarding body Year of award
     
     
     
     
Experience and approach:

My work involves;

  • Establishing a trusting relationship in which clients feel free and safe to be authentically themselves. Through consistently demonstrating empathy, sensitivity & non-judgement, clients can engage honestly and openly about what's troubling them 

  • Exploring the clients' difficulty within the context of their physical, psychological & relational experiences

  • Developing understanding of how a clients' values, identity, beliefs & cultural context affect their experience 

  • Equipping clients with concepts & frameworks to help develop new awareness & clearer insight into the nature of their problem: Why is it happening? What impact is it having? What beliefs, judgements and interpretations are being made about it? Why haven't previous attempts to overcome it worked? 

  • Introducing psycho/sexual/relational education, tools & practical exercises to support clients to overcome their difficulties 

  • Identifying the clients' preexisting resources & strengths that can support them to navigate the presenting issue

  • Supporting clients to process traumatic experiences and manage their ongoing impact

The modality of my training was pluralism,  a type of therapy that prioritises the therapist adapting their  approach to the specific needs of individual clients, on the premise that there's no one universally superior therapeutic approach but instead what works best for one client won't be the same as what works best for another. 
This means collaborating to find the kind of interventions that work for you over time:
More or less directive?
More or less focused on gaining insight or learning practical solutions?
More or less centred on psycho-education, mindfulness, creativity, narrative, conceptual frameworks, trauma-processing, internal parts work etc. 

The therapy swimming pool: Down at the deep end lies our early experiences- memories, traumas, core identities, values, cultural and religious beliefs etc. At the shallow end lies our present-day circumstances- lifestyle,(sexual) habits, communication patterns, relationship dynamics, resources, thought patterns etc.
I believe the most transformative therapy to involve moving between deep-dive psychological exploration and supporting practical changes in the present.
Eg, for a client struggling with body image, we might explore the roots of their self-criticism, their values relating to desirability, how their culture, age, gender, ethnicity etc inform their experience and establish the practical habits, behaviours & choices they can introduce to mitigate their distress. 

As part of my clinical training, I provided psychosexual & relationships therapy between 2024-2026 to support clients experiencing a wide range of sexual & relational issues at affordable UK-based clinical sexology service Sex Therapy Herts and Cape Town-based LGBTQ+ charity The Triangle Project. I continue to provide free, therapeutic support at The Triangle Project for clients who cannot access private healthcare.

Approaches:
  • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
  • Art therapy
  • Attachment theory (Psychodynamic)
  • Couple therapy
  • Dramatherapy
  • Family Therapy
  • Feminist therapy
  • Gestalt
  • GSRD therapy
  • Integrative
  • Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS)
  • Narrative therapy
  • Neurodivergent
  • Other
  • Person-Centred
  • Relational
  • Relationship therapy
  • Somatic sexology
  • Systemic
  • Transactional Analysis
Marginalised groups:
  • Ace | Asexual
  • BDSM | Kink
  • Bi- | Pansexual
  • Consensual non-monogamy
  • Cross-dresser
  • Gay
  • Intersex
  • Lesbian
  • Non-binary | Genderqueer
  • Queer
  • Questioning
  • Survivors of attempted conversion therapy
  • Trans
Relationship styles:
  • One to one
  • Two people
Access:
  • No adaptation
Age ranges:
  • Adults
  • Seniors (60+)
Online status:
  • Online

Individual therapy:​

  • £50, £60 or £70 per 60 min session 
  • £70, £80 or £90 per 90 min session

Relationships therapy:

  • £80, £90 or £100 per 60 min session
  • £100, £110 or £120 per 90 min session

Sliding scale Guidelines: 

Please choose a rate that’s genuinely reflective of your circumstances and most accurately aligns with your financial position. I understand individual circumstances are complex and you may not identify with every point- that’s OK!- please choose whichever feels the most relatable. Please trust you are warmly welcome into my practice at whichever rate you can afford- I currently do not limit the number of lower-rate places. 

Higher rate suitable for those who;

  • Have sufficient resources to comfortably cover rent/ necessities or
  • Own property or
  • Fully/partially live off unearned (gifted/ inherited) resources or
  • Earn salary from a secure job to enjoy substantial disposable income
  • Could afford to pay this rate on a weekly basis without consciously budgeting elsewhere 

Mid rate suitable for those who;

  • Have sufficient resources to comfortably cover rent/ necessities or
  • Earn enough money to enjoy disposable income or
  • Fully/partially live off unearned (gifted/ inherited) resources or
  • Could afford to pay this rate on a weekly basis without consciously budgeting elsewhere 

Lower rate suitable for those who;

  • Must be mindful of spending in order to cover rent/necessities or
  • Have never lived off unearned (gifted/inherited) resources or 
  • Have insecure income or
  • Have multiple dependents or
  • Are an unpaid carer or
  • Have a gender identity/expression, ability, class or racialised identity that has significantly affected capacity to generate income 

As someone who’s benefited from unearned resources myself, I am committed to making my work as accessible as possible. As such, alongside private practice, I work pro bono with The Triangle Project (a charity supporting the LGBTQ+ community in Cape Town, SA) providing psychotherapeutic support to clients unable to afford private healthcare.

155 chadwick road, London, UK SE15 4PY, United Kingdom
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Email: contact@rutheliot.com

Website:

https://www.rutheliot.com/therapy
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