CHOOSING YOUR THERAPIST

You may find it helpful asking some of the following questions of your prospective therapist. You will get a sense of how they respond to you, even if you don’t get a direct answer.

The following Questions to Ask a Therapist are adapted from It’s Your Hour: a guide to queer-affirmative psychotherapy by Bettinger, M. Alyson Books, 2001.

ATTITUDE TOWARD QUEERNESS

  • Do you believe in love between two people of the same sex?

  • Do you believe that sexual orientation can or should be changed?

  • Do you believe an openly lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender person can live a spiritually rich and satisfying life?

  • Do you know of any happy and successful long-term same sex couples?

  • How do you generally work with gay or lesbian people?

  • What work have you done to understand your own anti-homosexual bias?

TRAINING

  • What has been your training?

  • What qualifications have you been awarded?

  • What postgraduate training programmes have you completed?

  • What specific training have you done to work with gender, sex and relationship diverse clients?

  • What reading have you done about gay psychology/therapy?

  • When did you last attend a workshop/seminar on working with gender, sex and relationship diverse clients?

EXPERIENCE

  • How long have you been practising counselling or psychotherapy?

  • Where else have you worked besides your present position?

  • What jobs or careers have you had besides being a therapist?

  • What non-professional experiences have you had to qualify you for the work you are now doing?

CREDENTIALS + PROFESSIONAL ORIENTATION

  • How long have you been practising counselling or psychotherapy?
  • Where else have you worked besides your present position?
  • What jobs or careers have you had besides being a therapist?
  • What non-professional experiences have you had to qualify you for the work you are now doing?

COMPETENCE

  • Have you treated other people with problems similar to mine?

  • How do you determine how often we should meet?

  • Can you prescribe psychoactive medications if I need them?

  • If not, do you work with a physician or a psychiatrist who can evaluate me and prescribe medication?

  • Are you willing to consult with other mental health or medical professionals with whom I have worked?

  • Do you consult with other professionals regarding individuals on your caseload?

  • How do you safeguard my right to confidentiality in those situations?

  • Are you willing or able to see my family members or life partner if that should seem necessary?

  • If so, can or should I be present?

  • Will you ever meet with them without my being present?

  • Have you ever been sued for malpractice?

  • What was the outcome of that lawsuit?

BUSINESS PRACTICES

  • Have you treated other people with problems similar to mine?

  • How do you determine how often we should meet?

  • Can you prescribe psychoactive medications if I need them?

  • If not, do you work with a physician or a psychiatrist who can evaluate me and prescribe medication?

  • Are you willing to consult with other mental health or medical professionals with whom I have worked?

  • Do you consult with other professionals regarding individuals on your caseload?

  • How do you safeguard my right to confidentiality in those situations?

  • Are you willing or able to see my family members or life partner if that should seem necessary?

  • If so, can or should I be present?

  • Will you ever meet with them without my being present?

  • Have you ever been sued for malpractice?

  • What was the outcome of that lawsuit?

PERSONAL

  • Do you personally identify as queer, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or questioning?

  • You identify as being clean and sober?

  •  If so, are you in recovery?

  • Do you attend any 12-step groups?

  • What is your personal experience as a client in psychotherapy?

  • How do you feel it benefited you?

COMFORT AND CHEMISTRY (QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF AFTER THE INITIAL MEETING)

  • Did you feel understood?

  • Did the therapist understand your reason for being there?

  • Did you feel liked by the therapist?

  • Did you like the therapist?

  • Did you like their values?

  • Did you agree with them?

  • Did you have an initial feeling of trust in the therapist?

  • Did the therapist appear to be sensitive to your feelings?

  • Did you feel respected by the therapist?

  • Did you feel they were treating you as an equal?

  • Did you feel comfortable talking to this therapist?

  • Were you able to say what you wanted to say?

  • Were you able to be yourself?

  • Did you feel a need to hide anything?

  • Were you honest?

  • Did the therapist convey a feeling of personal warmth?

  • Did the therapist seem to have a sense of humour?

  • Were they overly serious?

  • Did you get a feeling this person was wise? Knowledgeable?

  • Were they able to go past theories and understand the nature of the world?

  • Did they convey an interest in you and your reasons for being in their office?

  • Did the therapist make eye contact with you? Was that comfortable for you?

  • Did you get any feedback from the therapist? Was it helpful? Insightful?

  • Did you come away with any greater understanding of yourself than you had before the first meeting?

  • Did you disagree with the therapist at any point? How did that go? Was the therapist defensive and go to sleep?

  • Could they disagree with you in a comfortable manner?

  • Do you look forward to talking with the therapist again?

FIND YOUR THERAPIST