CHOOSING YOUR THERAPIST
You may find it helpful asking some of the following questions of your prospective therapist. You will get a sense of how they respond to you, even if you don’t get a direct answer.
The following Questions to Ask a Therapist are adapted from It’s Your Hour: a guide to queer-affirmative psychotherapy by Bettinger, M. Alyson Books, 2001.
ATTITUDE TOWARD QUEERNESS
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Do you believe in love between two people of the same sex?
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Do you believe that sexual orientation can or should be changed?
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Do you believe an openly lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender person can live a spiritually rich and satisfying life?
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Do you know of any happy and successful long-term same sex couples?
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How do you generally work with gay or lesbian people?
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What work have you done to understand your own anti-homosexual bias?
TRAINING
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What has been your training?
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What qualifications have you been awarded?
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What postgraduate training programmes have you completed?
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What specific training have you done to work with gender, sex and relationship diverse clients?
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What reading have you done about gay psychology/therapy?
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When did you last attend a workshop/seminar on working with gender, sex and relationship diverse clients?
EXPERIENCE
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How long have you been practising counselling or psychotherapy?
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Where else have you worked besides your present position?
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What jobs or careers have you had besides being a therapist?
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What non-professional experiences have you had to qualify you for the work you are now doing?
CREDENTIALS + PROFESSIONAL ORIENTATION
- How long have you been practising counselling or psychotherapy?
- Where else have you worked besides your present position?
- What jobs or careers have you had besides being a therapist?
- What non-professional experiences have you had to qualify you for the work you are now doing?
COMPETENCE
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Have you treated other people with problems similar to mine?
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How do you determine how often we should meet?
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Can you prescribe psychoactive medications if I need them?
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If not, do you work with a physician or a psychiatrist who can evaluate me and prescribe medication?
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Are you willing to consult with other mental health or medical professionals with whom I have worked?
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Do you consult with other professionals regarding individuals on your caseload?
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How do you safeguard my right to confidentiality in those situations?
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Are you willing or able to see my family members or life partner if that should seem necessary?
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If so, can or should I be present?
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Will you ever meet with them without my being present?
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Have you ever been sued for malpractice?
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What was the outcome of that lawsuit?
BUSINESS PRACTICES
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Have you treated other people with problems similar to mine?
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How do you determine how often we should meet?
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Can you prescribe psychoactive medications if I need them?
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If not, do you work with a physician or a psychiatrist who can evaluate me and prescribe medication?
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Are you willing to consult with other mental health or medical professionals with whom I have worked?
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Do you consult with other professionals regarding individuals on your caseload?
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How do you safeguard my right to confidentiality in those situations?
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Are you willing or able to see my family members or life partner if that should seem necessary?
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If so, can or should I be present?
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Will you ever meet with them without my being present?
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Have you ever been sued for malpractice?
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What was the outcome of that lawsuit?
PERSONAL
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Do you personally identify as queer, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or questioning?
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You identify as being clean and sober?
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 If so, are you in recovery?
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Do you attend any 12-step groups?
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What is your personal experience as a client in psychotherapy?
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How do you feel it benefited you?
COMFORT AND CHEMISTRY (QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF AFTER THE INITIAL MEETING)
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Did you feel understood?
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Did the therapist understand your reason for being there?
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Did you feel liked by the therapist?
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Did you like the therapist?
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Did you like their values?
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Did you agree with them?
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Did you have an initial feeling of trust in the therapist?
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Did the therapist appear to be sensitive to your feelings?
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Did you feel respected by the therapist?
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Did you feel they were treating you as an equal?
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Did you feel comfortable talking to this therapist?
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Were you able to say what you wanted to say?
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Were you able to be yourself?
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Did you feel a need to hide anything?
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Were you honest?
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Did the therapist convey a feeling of personal warmth?
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Did the therapist seem to have a sense of humour?
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Were they overly serious?
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Did you get a feeling this person was wise? Knowledgeable?
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Were they able to go past theories and understand the nature of the world?
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Did they convey an interest in you and your reasons for being in their office?
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Did the therapist make eye contact with you? Was that comfortable for you?
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Did you get any feedback from the therapist? Was it helpful? Insightful?
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Did you come away with any greater understanding of yourself than you had before the first meeting?
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Did you disagree with the therapist at any point? How did that go? Was the therapist defensive and go to sleep?
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Could they disagree with you in a comfortable manner?
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Do you look forward to talking with the therapist again?