Benjamin Marr

Experience:

 

Addictions/ Substance Abuse

 

My experience in working with addictions and substance abuse goes back over thirty years and is primarily concentrated on clinical work with clients who are working through addictions with alcohol, drug and pornography. I also work with clients who have developed unhealthy habits, such as over-exercising and spending excessively. My methodology with my clients is to provide a safe and containing listening space in addition, use music, art and dance therapy to allow my clients to feel heard and understood. It is my intention to truly understand the root of an addiction and to allow my clients to be where they wish to be in the moment.

 

Since I started my career in psychotherapy, I have successfully dedicated considerable productive efforts to client issues. In my private practice, I create a safe and supportive therapy environment in which clients interact with me in terms of the point to where they wish to advance. To these circumstances, I bring my experience with the nature of illness, drug therapies, professional ethics and more.

 

I support clients to engage in contacting organisations such as AA, NA and CODA when they feel they are ready. I work with my clients and support them with regard to their recovery goals. I acknowledge client’s addiction imprisonment, however, I encourage my clients to look towards the key of recovery.

 

Anger Management

 

In many cases, relational psychotherapy can be particularly useful in overcoming anger issues, particularly on the one-to-one basis that I employ in my private practice.

Professionally, I always recognise that when a client acknowledges that they have a possible problem with an emotional imbalance and wishes to actively seek assistance to change, then this is a very positive first step towards solving the anger issues.

 

Borderline Personality Disorder

 

I offer treatment for borderline personality disorder (B.P.D.) which involves a comprehensive relational psychotherapeutic service on a one-to-one basis in a safe and supportive setting. In all instances, the aim is always to contribute to the provision of day-to-day support, whilst fomenting the greatest possible sense of self-empowerment and independence in the client.

 

Depression

 

In my private practice, I use relational psychotherapy and person centred methods as a tool for clients to use when combining self-help and talking through their perspectives on themselves and their lives. I offer “watchful relational psychotherapy”, which is a fortnightly review on how the client is relating to the therapy. There are a number of circumstances where some guidance and self-empowerment are used in creative therapy. This sense of self-empowerment extends to talking through the client’s feelings, all of which is very helpful for the client’s self-esteem.

An interesting development over the last few years has also been the practical use social media networks such as Facebook, Instagram, Tinder and Grinder, all of which my private practice has positively used with some clients.

 

Domestic Abuse/ Violence

 

In all cases domestic violence and other forms of abuse have traumatic as well as physical effects on both the client and those closest to them. To effectively help, my relational psychotherapy service is always used in a professional and confidential manner. There are a number of possible instances when couples’ therapy might not help those in a relationship with domestic violence. It may not be healthy, or productive to work on a relationship with an abusive partner.

I believe that relational psychotherapy and person centred methods can be helpful in treating the effects of domestic abuse. Domestic violence can have the capacity to leave lasting physical and mental effects. My relational psychotherapeutic support will be able to assist clients work through mental health issues which could be caused by domestic abuse.

Relational psychotherapy for domestic abuse has the capacity to be positively effective when each party of the relationship seeks therapy separately.

 

Eating Disorders

 

The generalised term “eating disorder” can cover many forms of unusual, or atypical eating habits and also includes disordered, or distorted body image (body dysmorphia) and even, possibly, addiction to exercise. Eating disorders can effect both men and women and it has been estimated to affect anything up to 5% of all people at some point in their lives, with a relatively greater propensity amongst older adolescent boys and younger men. Other eating disorders may also include behaviours such as the compulsion to exercise excessively, or a negative, or distorted body image, as well as obsessive thoughts, habits and behaviours surrounding various aspects of food.

Relational psychotherapy and person centred methods, as well as creative therapies, can generate the opportunity with eating disorders to examine and explore any possibly deep-rooted emotional explanations that may have contributed to issues around food, exercise and body image. With eating disorders, relational psychotherapy creates the opportunity to possibly identify any such sensitive areas and instigate a process to overcome troubling, obsessive or destructive behaviours in a supportively safe space. My private practice has successfully provided a guided and structured approach – comprising both cognitive interventions and practical strategies – to support clients as they initialise a process to create a healthier relationship for themselves with both food and their bodies.

 

Grief and Loss

 

There have been instances when clients have brought their grief to therapy that was causing them major pain and in such instances, these emotions can morph into quite overwhelming situations. The supportive and safe environment my relational and person centred psychotherapy practice offers can be effective in reducing such unrelenting feelings. With the correct sort of professional therapy available in my private practice and given the right amount of time, my clients recover from their specific feelings of loss and successfully adjusted to their next phase of life.

Naturally, each client’s experience with grief is equally unique and complex, as well as being personal. Grief may cover such aspects as the demise of a loved one or friend, or it could involve a life changing circumstance, such as a relational break-up, or even a job loss. The client’s culture, personality and past life-experiences may all affect their particular grieving process.

With my relational psychotherapy, I do my utmost to tailor each therapy programme to specifically meet each client’s particular needs. In many instances, one useful aim of my therapy service is to contribute to the maintenance and enhancement of healthy connections with client’s circle of family and friends. Equally, many clients may find catharsis while talking about both their current and lost loved ones. Reflection on positive memories may strengthen client’s bond with the lost person.

This reaffirmation of the client’s bond may effectively reduce any possible “sting” from the loss felt. That said, every effort is taken by me to balance all attachments within therapy. In complicated grief, a client may feel hopeless and desire to join the lost loved one.

 

Another common goal with my relational psychotherapy is to facilitate the listening process. There are occasions when society may stigmatize the client for grieving in a certain way. However, my therapy approach is to assist the client to express their feelings without any form of judgment.

 

H.I.V.

 

With all immune-related conditions, there tends to be created an entire panoply of feelings that have the capability to weigh down people who have contracted them. In such cases, relational psychotherapy, person centred and creative therapies can be very useful in helping to overcome most non-productive feelings that a client might be facing. It can be relatively easy for clients to allow themselves to believe that their lives are somewhat spiralling out of control. What is most prevalent in the first number of sessions with this group of clients is how the shock of diagnosis can be displayed either by complete denial e.g., "I’m fine” or through a course of body modifications such as tattoos, piercings, cosmetic surgery. Amongst gay people who are HIV positive, it is not uncommon to develop an addiction for building as a means of masking their feelings of physical inferiority. Amongst this group of clients, addictions in many ways forms a ghetto within a ghetto; they are gay men, but trap themselves further by becoming addicted to chemsex. This is quite a positive group to work with in regards to developments.

Equally, a client may bring to therapy an extreme sense of anxiety, brought on by receiving their diagnosis of conditions such as HIV or Hepatitis. Relational Psychotherapy can usefully contribute to assisting with the dispelling of such feelings.

 

L.G.B.T.

 

As a gay therapist, I have extensive experience of dealing with clients from differing backgrounds whose sexual orientation, as well as their gender identity may be a direct source of distress to themselves. In addition people who identify as LGBTQIA+ may find that the social stigma from others, living as a minority to be a source of stress or anxiety. Relational psychotherapy has the scope to positively contribute to overcoming such issues, which can also possibly have ramifications in terms of the changes in the clients’ lives. My personal and professional familiarity with the challenges that members of the LGBTQIA+ community often face have been critical to successful therapy outcomes.

 

Marriage and Relationship Counselling Therapy

 

I use my relational psychotherapy background to counsel couples and relationships in general and have created a comfortable and safe environment for couples and individuals to discuss, explore and contribute to finding possible ways of overcoming relationship issues. Healthy human relationships are a vital part of day-to-day life and can be very fulfilling when these are close, loving ones. In current times of homophobia and bigotry, the maintenance of such positive relationships can be problematic, given the normal social demands that are placed on everyone.

 

My relational psychotherapy is used to identify the probable issues in a relationship between two clients, including any evident, or supposed, causes of any deficiencies in that relationship. Difficulties with relationships may have their origins in such examples as problematic responses from one party, attachment issues, or some form of perceived hindrance by one party to creating a supportive background to future relationship developments amongst their social circles. Equally, my relational psychotherapy has borne successes when it comes to such facets as overcoming relational discordance and even conflicts.

In all instances, I carry out my psychotherapy sessions in a professional and respectful manner, with the utmost stress on the client’s confidentiality and privacy.

 

Psychosexual/ Sex Therapy / BDSM

 

My qualified relational psychotherapy background has been further enhanced by additional training and professional experience that I attained to assist clients specifically with any issues they may have with their sexual relationships. Furthermore, my research within the last year of Continual Professional Development (C.P.D.) has specifically been leaning towards Sex Therapy due to clients experiencing sexual-related issues. During the course of a normal lifetime, an individual may face difficulties with sexual developments that may be the reason for varying degrees of distress, or even unhappiness. My relational psychotherapy has experience in dealing with desire issues, erectile dysfunction, ejaculation issues, orgasm issues and penetrative issues.

 

I always start off by listening carefully to clients’ perceived problems, which is then followed a preliminary assessment to identify any psychological and/ or physical root to the particular issue the client has. Discussing those experiences that a client feels comfortable setting out is very usually an effective tool for them to better comprehend why what is happening is indeed happening and underlying causes for this. There are instances in my psychosexual therapy that the use of exercises for the client and their partner to try in the comfort of their homes can be productively employed.

Naturally, each psychosexual session is completely confidential, with the option of the client having either a one-on-one session or one with their partner is left completely at the discretion of the client. For my psychosexual therapy, normally one session per week is the indicative recommendation, until such time as the therapy has a clearly suitable conclusion.

 

I also have experience in working with BDSM / kink and I embrace clients who come to me, seeking to explore a kink lifestyle to open up their relationship with their partners. This is often done slowly and carefully over a number of sessions. This often bares wonderful fruitful results.

 

My approach

 

My approach to psychotherapy is one of a deep belief in the clients ability to heal, resolve issues and move forward towards a positive ending. I work openly with all communities and have extensive experience primarily with LGBTQ+

people and people with disabilities. I am able to provide a non-judgemental environment that is also caring and safe. This allows change to happen in a way that suits the client.

 

The model of therapy that I offer draws primarily on psychodynamic and person-centred therapy, focusing on our therapeutic relationship, and providing a non-judgmental space to be able to think about your therapeutic needs, and offering space to reflect on how you can begin to move forward. I’m also a creative art therapist, and work with body movement and dance, as well as music, art and drama.

 

Working creatively is very important to my communication with my clients.