Jem Stopes

Therapist Directory Listing Category: Sex- and sexuality-related practitioners

About the Therapist

About the therapist:

I know from my own experience the importance of having a therapist who 'gets it' when your identity, orientation or lifestyle puts you outside the mainstream.

I'm non-binary, queer, non-monogamous and kinky, and familiar with kink and sex positive spaces. My training has equipped me to work specifically with sexual themes, both for individuals struggling with 'sexual function' issues like erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, and for couples (and moresomes) facing issues like desire discrepancy or loss of intimacy.

My previous work was as a conflict mediator, so I'm particularly well placed to help in relationships where communication has really broken down - I can create a space for you to start to hear and understand each other again.

Sexual identity:

Bi- | Pansexual
Kink - BDSM
Queer

Gender identity: Non-binary

Gender history: Not as assigned at birth

Non-monogamy: Yes

Intersex: No

Neurodivergent: Yes

Personal pronouns: they/them

Qualifications - Links to websites:

Clinical Sexology Diploma - Contemporary Institute of Clinical Sexology (2022-2024)

Foundation in Humanistic and Integrative Counselling - Bath Centre for Psychotherapy and Counselling (2020 - 2022)

COSRT registered: https://www.cosrt.org.uk/members-2/jem-stopes/

My website: https://www.jemstopes.co/

Qualifications - Additional:

Award	Awarding body	Year of award

Experience and approach:

My approach is pluralist – I draw on techniques ranging from person-centred counselling to CBT to mindfulness and parts work. I'm confident about finding the right approach to help you.

I specialize in relationship difficulties including desire discrepancy, communication challenges, and conflict. I work with sexual function problems within couples or individuals, including erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, vaginismus, and orgasm problems.

I bring many years of experience as a conflict mediator, handling strong emotions and communication challenges.

I believe that your sex life is a mirror for your relationship, and by working on it together, rather than seeing it as one partner's 'problem', you can build a strong, enduring, and enjoyable relationship into the future.

I'm attentive to how societal power structures show up in people's lives and relationships, and I see acknowledging that as part of my job.

Approaches: