Hal M.
About the Therapist
A key component of my work is: you realising you’re free and entitled to fuck up. I’m saying it again: you’re allowed to fuck up. You’re a human, a mensch. We learn through our mistakes and, with smarter hindsight, call it experience. you realising how unhelpful and pointless it is to beat yourself up/put yourself down. Instead, you’ll sift through your issues by focusing on everyday little positive actions towards resolving them, allowing yourself set-backs knowing you won’t kick yourself anymore as you used to, but will focus consistently on whatever needs resolving. Throughout our sessions, I’ll get to know you better and eventually will have an emotional picture, where I see certain emerging patterns. Some will point to the obstructions that stand between you and a happier/more fulfilled you, I’ll then explore ways with you to tackle these.
- Gay
- Kink - BDSM
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As required, I add aspects of neuroscience and mindfulness/Buddhist wisdoms to my work. My work usually begins by me letting you just be. You'll be safe and will have, as indeed phrased by Carl Rogers, my unconditional positive regard. Meaning, no value judgements. No shame. No guilt. I will leave it up to you to take the time to feel comfortable, to build up trust, and will take all else that emerges from there. Over the years specific working areas have emerged in my therapy work:
- LGBT+/BDSM/Fetishism/Kink: especially us here in the West, have the rights and freedoms to express ourselves through our sexual or gender identity. I hence consider these barely a mental health issue but an issue of human rights.
ANY relationships among consenting adults I highly affirm in my work and wholeheartedly support anyone who would like to explore any aspect of BDSM- and related practises and take a very firm stand towards anyone being shamed or pathologized because of their sexual, gender or play preferences.
- Social/musical subcultures: I have a particular closeness to those who identify as Mods, Rockers, Punks, Metalheads etc. as many face either being ostracised by society or are victims of hate crimes (e.g. death of Sophie Lancaster); many face major obstacles in the job market due to their looks or struggle sustaining themselves as artists/musicians; issues of substance misuse, alcohol addiction, gambling, self-harm, pressures within the music industry, financial exploitation and sadly too many cases of resulting suicides (e.g. Chris Cornell, Chester Bennington, Keith Flint)
- Intercultural/interreligious issues: many clients who contacted me are, similar to me, from a Muslim upbringing. Those in one way or another, struggled bringing together their likes/preferences (be it regarding their sex, gender, sexuality, culture or politics) with their more conservative parental cultural or religious upbringing.
- especially women/female presenting clients being especially among the Abrahamic religions a softer target, have to fight for their liberties even stronger (as the current case of Mahsa Amini shows clearly)
These areas seem to have gravitated towards me, as I – not an expert by all means – but am an active and passionate member of all these areas myself meaning, I will always speak from within, never as a detached-seeming 'onlooker'. I also would like you to know that I as your therapist born and brought up in Germany from a Turkish Muslim upbringing, will not shy away from the politics of mental health. I’m hence here for you, should you be in need to find a way to share with yourself/me/members of your social circle(s) that you’ve realised eg. that you’re:
- trans
- not a Muslim (etc.) anymore
- you’re into kink/BDSM/a fetishist
- someone who struggles with addictions and needing now coping skills
- suffering from OCDs and in need of coping skills
- in need to discuss with your parents you reject the marriage they’ve arranged for you
- you’re ready to leave an abusive relationship/community/religion
- in need to find a way to live out your religion/spiritual path as you want
- ready to explore ways to love yourself (again)
…or whatever else you haven’t been able to resolve with you, I’ll do my utmost to guide you towards your true authentic self. I consider hence my work a fight for your right to be as you truly feel inside.
- No more shame.
- No more hiding.
- No more ‘dirty secrets’
If any of this strikes a chord, get in touch for a free consultation.
- Consultation
- Humanistic
- Integrative
- Person-Centred
- Relational
- Relationship therapy
- Solution Focused Brief Therapy
- BDSM | Kink
- Bi- | Pansexual
- Lesbian
- Non-binary | Genderqueer
- Queer
- Questioning
- Trans
- One to one
- Two people
- No adaptation
- Adults
- Online
- In Person
My base rate is £60 per therapist’s hour, but I’m happy to adjust to your current financial circumstances. I do not charge for initial consultation sessions.
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