Timothy Dellard - Caerdydd

Are you struggling with your relationships, perhaps you are feeling unsupported in life or without anyone who really understands you? Do you wish you had closer relationships, more people to share your innermost thoughts with, or more authentic relationships where people know the “real” you?

I believe the relationships we form with others are not just the key to living a good and fulfilling life, but they are the bedrock for our other life successes… after all, how can we really achieve our true potential if we don’t have love and support from those around us?

Relating to others authentically, first and foremost means understanding ourselves authentically. This means learning about who we are, and most importantly accepting who we are, so that others may know and accept us authentically as well.

I’m inclined to agree with the psychotherapist Carl Jung who said that “the privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” When we are our authentic self, we can also relate to others more deeply and authentically, and then the other areas of our lives fall into place almost by themselves.

Of course, becoming who you are may not be such a straightforward journey. You may have anxiety, depression, or compulsive behaviours which mask what is going on beneath. You may find yourself in unsatisfying relationships, and not know why you are attracted to these people. There are many ways we hide and distract ourselves from seeing who we really are.

How can therapy help?

I view the therapeutic journey as a journey of self-discovery. I will provide you with the space to talk openly, including about the things you’ve never felt able to tell anyone before, so that you can get your thoughts and views clear in your mind. Where I hear inconsistencies or statements that sound inauthentic, I will gently question these with you so that you can reflect on what really is true to you. Ultimately, you are the agent of your own self and therefore only you can discover what your truth really is.

Deeper relating involves becoming aware of our feelings, and aware of how we impact upon others and how others impact upon us. Feelings in particular can be buried beneath anxiety, depression, a general sense of detachment from life, or unhealthy behaviours. Lifting these masks and being truly in touch with your feelings underneath is ultimately what will enable you to relate deeply with others.

Contact me today to begin your journey of self-discovery!

Neurodivergence

I work keeping in mind neurodivergence, as many of my clients present with autism, ADHD and other neurodivergence. I know that what works for a neurotypical person may not work for you, and I welcome you to challenge me if you think I am missing any part of you due to your neurodivergence.

My Intersectionality

Reflecting on my intersectionality, these are the traits that come up most obviously to me:

Asexual - Aromantic - Male - Cis gendered - Middle class - White - English/Welsh nationality - I have many signs of autism but have not been for a diagnosis - Atheist - Somewhere between “still young” and “middle aged” - Able bodied

These are a mixture of both visible and hidden identities. I have reflected deeply on the privilege where it features above (including in the most obvious areas of being a white, middle class cis gendered male), and I’m also aware of the oppression where that has also featured with other parts of my identity.

Furthermore I acknowledge the privilege afforded to being able to hide/mask my non-normative areas of difference.

I also appreciate that I do not have your lens to see through, and while I say I’m aware of my privilege as a white male, I still do so from the viewpoint of being that person and I cannot ever truly see through the lived experience of a different lens.